A shout-out to Umaachi!

This post is an entry by my eleven month old bub, Pattani for the Women’s Web contest – Your reason to pray hosted by Cycle Pure Agarbathies.

*Umaachi : God, in baby talk.

So last night Amma was telling Appa about some contest where you had to write about your reasons for praying to God. Now I thought this must be an easy one for Amma because she is generally a lot into prayers and even makes me say “Umaachi kaapathu”(Protect me, God!) and Govinda Govinda every time we are in the pooja room. She also regularly puts vibhuti on my forehead, so even when I go to malls and try to play it cool, I end up looking like THIS.

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I am personally more interested to pry open that almirah near the pooja shelf, though. Of course it is banned for me, like a hundred other things in the house. Every time I try, somebody or the other comes screaming – He is opening the “frij“(that is what it sounds like), catch him! One day I will beat them to it, I will. I digress. They were talking some boring things about what they wished for, from umaachi. I was about to give up pretending, and actually go off to sleep, when suddenly Amma declared – “Apart from the routine things like good health and well being, my only wish that I desperately want fulfilled is to make that U-RO(Euro) trip and strike that item off my bucket list”. Yes, she did say bucket, though I don’t understand what her wish could possibly have to do with buckets. My only idea of a bucket is THIS.

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 Oh I love this! I badger Amma/Appa at bath time every single day, till they put me in there. How fun!

Anyway since Amma’s list for praying is so meager, I decided that I might as well use up her slots to slip in my own prayer applications to Umaachi. So here goes:

1. Umaachi, I want to grow tall, like immediately. I am sure you recognise and understand the glee one gets by simply pulling down everything that is within reach. The more breakable the object, more the glee. More the damage caused, more the glee. Remote controls, the Ipad, books, utensils, set-top boxes, bottles – I was totally having a go at them till these boring people played spoilsport and started putting EVERYTHING out of my reach. Apparently their reason for this is that I happened to break 2 remote controls.<What I was actually doing was ripping it into parts and exploring the capacitors inside. These people I tell you, they cannot spot a bright mind when they see one>. Thatha suggested that at this rate, we might as well add a remote control to the monthly grocery list. I thought this was sensible, but no one else agreed. So they just put everything at very high places. I can’t reach them now, even on my tiptoes. So please make me tall ok ?

2. If there is one thing I LOVE chewing on, it is paper. But like all good things I love, these people put paper as well out of my reach. Recently Amma got me some very colorful boardbooks. I heard her tell Appa that I would not be able to chew/eat them and it would put some love for books in me. Oh I love them alright, but Amma was way off about the chewing part. Now those books curiously resemble a cheese piece gnawed at by Jerry. I think Amma is slightly discouraged, but please Umaachi, make her get me lots of those books, ok? I love them, and I promise you I’ll read them too, once in a while(with a solemn face).

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3. Make me turn a year old Umaachi, please? I think Amma and appa are very confused about this. At times they say they are startled that I am already eleven months old and that I am growing up tooo fast, and at times they can’t wait for me to grow up. I am, however very clear that I want to turn a year old. Not too sure about the growing up part. This is the thing – these people in the house heap their plates with really delicious looking stuff – adais, crispy papads, sweets and what not! And all I get is a never-ending stream of bland-tasting veggie and fruit purees. I do get some occasional stealth bites of all banned items(mostly from paati and appa; they are all oh-so-yummy) but people are always going on and on about how I can eat all that stuff only after I turn one. One month more. As if it makes so much of a difference. Gah!

4. Lest you think I am all selfish and silly going on and on about my wants, I am going to make one last noble wish- for Amma this time. Looks like she is extremely worried about her hair loss. She keeps complaining to everybody who cares to hear that it has worsened ever since I came. So please stop her hairfall ok? I totally love grabbing her hair and pulling at it, especially when she is blissfully lying down, and every time I do that, she starts off her hair-fall rant. Maybe if you stop her hairfall, she wont mind me so much !

Also, since I am growing up and all that, it is maybe time for me to start doing proper poojas like Thatha does. Will the Lakshmi Pooja Pack help me learn that ? I am sure Amma will put the whole pack to good use, but I am looking forward to Arthi time, when I can happily rattle away the mani(bell). Also, I hear the pack comes with a CD for the full length of the pooja, so I am sure it is going to be interesting !