Literally speaking..

“Meena!”, the Pattani calls out, tugging at the MIL’s saree pallu.
“Shhh – Pattani! You can’t call her by name. Paati nu koopdu”, I tell him firmly.
“Meena!” Yet again.
I just glare.
“Meena Paati?”, he tries, tentatively.
Not wanting to offer any leeway, I tell him firmly – “Onnum theva illa. Verum Paati nu koopdu, porum.”
He pretends like he hasn’t heard me and scampers off.
He returns to the kitchen exactly a minute later, runs up to her and confidently addresses her – “Verum Paati! Akkam venu.” <I want water.>

***

When we watch nursery rhyme videos, we usually keep the Pattani involved in some chatter about what the mouse/cat/duck/anna in the rhyme is doing, so we can spin stories from those later on.  Sometimes we do it just to hear him talk and gush over it. Yes, we are yet to reach the “Oh shut up already!” phase. 😀

Anyhow, there is this rhyme that goes

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, eating his Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said what a good boy I am!<Fat moral, but that’s not the point>

Pattani, anna enna ma saapadran ? (What is he eating?)
Cake!
Hmm.. ok. Anna cake lendhu enna eduthaan ? <What did he take out from the cake? >
Appalaam.
Whaaa !
Now read the rhyme again. Dang! A plum indeed!

***

The Pattani’s assisted story telling of the lion and the mouse story :
Oru oorla ..
oyyu liyon (a lion)
lion was?
hungee (hungry)
so lion enna pannithu ?
Tacchu mammu chaaaptu, akkam kuchu, thooyi la taachu! <It ate curd rice, drank water and slept in its thooli>
Some quintessential tam-brahm lion this, huh?

Pattani Peek – Some Random Snippets

The kkkkhhhh days are long gone. He can now comprehend everything you say(especially if it involves people making plans to go out) and speak quite a bit.

A(anybody in the house): Amma chellam yaaaruuu ?
Pattani : Naaanuu! (in mood-specific tonal variations)
A: Appa oda pattukutti yaaru ?
Pattani : Naaanuu !
A: Kutti pattani Yaaru ?
Pattani : Naaanuu.
Absolute fun. We shamelessly demand his allegiance a million times a day, and the poor baby obliges almost always(except when he is eyeing mamm-mamm).
Someday, Paati asks Pattani : Paati yaaru ma ?
And he promptly replies : Naanu !
We get the message. He only comprehends yaaru. What precedes that is irrelevant.  Answer-inappropriate questions shalt not be asked henceforth. On that note, Mr. Pappu, do you know Pattani’s age? 14 months. Not 43.

***

A: A for ?
Pattani: Aapooo (Apple. We taught him that.)
A: B for ?
Pattani : Bow- bow !
We are stunned, wondering how he managed to come up with that !
Very hopefully, we continue .. C for ?
Pat comes the reply – Chuchu !
#facepalm #PottyTrainingWoes

***

The most fascinating in-house objects according to him : Tupperware dabbas(The bigger, the better). Stainless steel paathrams. Spoons. Plates. Just-folded and neatly stacked clothes. What he loves doing with the 2 huge baskets of the actual toys :
1. Wait till amma/appa painstakingly fish out every toy from under the sofas and corners of the house and put them back into the baskets.
2. Thothakaa bothakaa nu run to the basket with a great show of enthusiasm to play with the toys.
3. Diligently pull out EVERY single toy and throw it around randomly.
4. Run away to the kitchen to attack the utensils set. Sighs.
Some shots of Pattani in his domestic avtar :

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Err.. kindly excuse the poor quality of pictures. Bad lighting and angles. And these moments don’t last you know ? So yeah, you are not allowed to think ill of the photographer’s skills

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Dabbas can go find themselves some space. I want to sit on the kitchen shelf!

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Most fascinating creatures : Kaa-kaa and bow-bow(Bow-bow? My kid? Really? I wonder all the time!) Everybody, I mean EVERYBODY else can only compete for spot number 3. You can take him anywhere – be it the temple, or teru mona kadai or the beach or a mall. Once he is home, ask him what he saw – the answer is either kaka or bow-bow. The look of extreme excitement and sheer delight on his face when he spots either of them on the street – Paaah! Incomprehensible only. I dread at the thought of the day when he might just throw a big drama to get a pup for a pet and I may have to give in. No, THAT I will not. DOT.

***

Me: Pattani, Thatha epdi ma pooja pannuvaa ?
Him: Holding out and shaking his hand, as if to aatify the mani.

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In a totally different context, Pattani running around in high spirits at 11 pm refusing to yield to my superhuman efforts to put him to sleep and a tired,sleepy me, desperate to hit the bed:
Me : Pattani, Yen paduthara? Toongu ma. Amma ku tookama vardhu. Mani enna terima ?
Pattani : Stops suddenly, looks and me and does the mani aatifying action.
I look confused, and burst out laughing.
#HowDoesOneExplainHomonymsToAOneYearOld. Well, on second thoughts, one year olds are way cuter not knowing!

***

***

Six.

Just as I was giving Pattani a sip of water yesterday from the feeding bottle, he held the bottle firmly in his tiny hands and tried to drink. He pulled away from the bottle briefly, distracted by something, and just as I thought I should bring the nipple back to his mouth so that he could continue drinking, he managed to do it himself! It was a first, considering he started drinking from a bottle since barely a fortnight. For a second K and I looked at each other, with a wide grin on our faces and continued to stare at him as he happily drank away and K said – Dei Bondoos , big boy aitiya da nee ? Neeye kudichipiyaa ?
6 months it has been.From time to time, I flip through the gazillion pictures that we have clicked right from the day he was born, and every single time, it seems incredible – the transition from the helpless infant , wailing away for the most part, and fitting in a highly packed eat-pee-poo-sleep cycle in the remaining time to this bundle of energy who leaves us wondering what is on store the next minute all the time. He is already rolling all over the place and grabbing at everything in sight and invariably putting it in his mouth. The teethers don receive as much love as his favorite kutti pillow when it comes to chewing. As conscientous parents, we randomly mumble – hygiene, infection etc, but then just give up and watch the fun!
Since I am doing a pretty bad job of putting down the woah moments here as and when they come to pass, I thought I would record some of those before they become hazy memories !
1. Right from around 3 months or so, he kept turning to his side, trying to turn his hip. We thought the hero was going to disregard all milestone charts and roll over at as early as three months. It did happen – in the middle of a huge fit of crying and anger(you would be surprised at how angry 3 month olds can get). We put him down on the bed for a bit as a desperate attempt to stop his crying and suddenly he started making valiant efforts to turn over, forgot all about his crying and plonked on his tummy successfully! We were, as usual being the excited paparazzi and surrounding and capturing the moments on various dokku phone cameras. Sadly, he forgot about this little feat of his for more than a month. And then, there was this mega-cool wing meetup that was happening in New York(oh yeah, Amreeka is the new Ispahani). Remember how we were back in touch after college days through Whatsapp? That group is still very alive and is somewhere on the top of the chart of non-baby stuff that totally make my day(s). These girls wanted a facetime date with Pattani when they met up, and when it happened, I was desperately trying to engage MY friends in conversation while they were busy cooing over him. He realised all the attention he was getting I suppose, and like a puppet on cue, rolled over like a pro and flashed a smile. The brat! I ran out screaming to get K and his parents to watch, and sure enough, he rolled over a few more times that day. So, how cool is that – some of the best friends Ive ever had, who now live across the world actually were the first ones to watch Pattani turn over, real time ! 😀
2. A few days after this happened, he got bored of turning over onto his tummy at the drop of the hat to observe the machining of the world and discovered the fun of being mobile. So we just had to set him down on the bed for a moment , and instantly he would roll off to the other end. Remember Angapradakshinam ? Great fun! Only we could not follow suit, adn had to keep running around the bed like ball boys to protect him !
3. I took him for a concert by TM Krishna, sometime in April. It was at Ram Samaj, where the traffic outside caused enough disturbance to the audience and a loud baby might not make much of difference. I sat down near the entrace and set him on my lap, ready to head out in case he got restless. A brilliant ragam thanam pallavi in the pancharatna ragas was on. Both of us were totally absorbed in it in our own ways. Pattani did not so much as let out a whimper, though he did get startled a couple of times by the sudden enthu bursts of the mridangist.) And so we made our 45-minute kacheri debut. On the same note, the only way to keep him self-entertained when all of us are busy is to play music and leave him with something chewable. Contentment prevails, atleast for a while.
4.He is turning out to be the youngest vambu-party ever known to mankind. Entertain him with toys, he is bound to get bored sooner or later. Talk to him about anything under the sun, you will be rewarded with wide mokka vaai chirippus. Strangely, and thankfully, he takes to new faces quite well. He acts all smiley and social – sometimes i wonder if his restless crying in the house is simply because he is plain bored of us :|. Thanks to this, his everyday walk with K to the end of the street, which is exactly 4 houses away takes close to 20 minutes, with good mornings and greetings to next-door Arjun “Anna”(who, by the way is 11 months old), paal kaari, theru-mona auto driver, pakathu flat walking couple and in general any aquaintance who happens to be at his gate.
5. Peek-a-booo ! and nandu-vardhu,nari vardhu(no point translating that) are his giggle triggers at the moment. Heee-Haww. Also, if you leave a ball somewhere near his legs, he manages to pick it up, balancing it in between his legs, lift it up, transfer it to his hands, and.. take it to his mouth (what else!). You can imagine the circus, right? 😀
PS: The brat has started to sprout a tooth! Cannot see it yet, can barely feel it.. but here is to more biting ! :/

Ananda Jaladhosham

Note: Translation would kill whatever little smile this post may evoke. So, non-Tamils, feel free to skip ! 🙂

On the phone :
me : Naa sunday movie poren
a(the sibling): oh endha movie?
me: Kadhalil Sodhappuvadhu Eppadi – Sid padam (with full girly effect, which is totally lost on him)
a: oh. (pause). hey , oru pudhu siddharth padam vardhu. Sid and that girl, semma azhaga iruppale.. Vikram padathla varuvaale?
me: amala paul?
a: haaan…
me: andha padam thaan da naa paaka poren..
a: cha, adhu illa. idhu vera. indha padam peru Ananda Jaladhosham.
me: wtf! jaladhosham aa? olaraadhe da
a: illa, nejamaa.. adhaan padam per. enna thaan imagination-o! jaladhosham, bedhi nu !
me: I still think nee olarara nu. Jaladhosham nu yevanaavdhu padam per veppanaa da?I have never heard of this. And moreover Sid and Amala Paul same time la 2 movies aa?
a: hey illa, I am telling you… I’ve been seeing promos for Ananda Jaladhosham for the last 2 months. Andha speech bubbles pottu promos irukkume… paathadhu illa nee ?
me: #Headslap! pakki!(plus choicest selection of expletives) Adhu dhaan da Kadhalil Sodhappuvadhu Eppadi.
a: Huh? You sure?

Put down phone. Marvel at the brother’s idiot imagination and guffaw. Yes, very mature, I know.
Go and report to K – A thinks there is a movie of Siddarth called Anandha Jaladosham!
K: Ennadhu Jaladhosham aa. Hee Haw (Birds of the same feather yada yada)

2 days later comes the justication :
Heart Beat Kooda Dumb Beat Aagum Love
Thermometer Thangathu Intha Love
ICU ku Ponaalum I Love Unu Varumvomae
Ananda Jaladosham Intha Love Love
Ananda Jaladosham Intha Love

This is a song in the movie, apparently. If the lyrics can be these, then pigs can fly and hell, yes, call a movie Ananda Jaladhosham, by all means !
On the same note, I hope to God the movie is decent. After the 180 debacle, its going to be one hell of a task for me to gather company for Sid movies if this one lets down too. A delectable Sid is not a reason good enough for people, it seems. Hmmm.